[Help] New to this scene, needing guidance.

So real quick background on me. I've been playing CS competitively since 1.6. I recently had a motorcycle accident that took all of that away. I've had diminishing motor skills since and I couldn't keep up anymore. Against my personal beliefs, I joined at AA and purchased there. I was trying anything to get me back on level with my teammates and I didn't research much. Just found a popular site and went with it. I was VAC banned in CSS almost immediately. I then waited and used it in GO. Two alt accts where VAC banned as well. Now I don't know what the hell is going on over there.

I'm needing a secure cheat to mess around in MM with and hopefully get back to where I was. I found Organner, but it seems people have been waiting for that for over a year. I'm willing to wait if it's secure as they say and will allow me to compete in leagues again. For the mean-time, I was trying whatever I could find and it failed me. I've been looking at R3's and it seems to be an external, which I've read is harder to detect(?). I'm going to become more active there in hopes of getting Illusion, but was wondering if using the other would be more safe than my current cheat from AA.

I don't mean to mention AA in a bad light, it's just bad that there's such an issue right now with the CSGO cheat. I was always against hacking, but times change and I can't even enjoy the game since my accident.

Any advice for a newbie to this world would be appreciated guys. Thanks!